My Life-Prelude

Oh my god! Where do i even start about my weird, twisted, gambled, puzzling yet gifted and fun-filled life? I wake up every morning feeling like it's just another day of mindless being, a day to feel possessed, sucked into the vortex of being carried away by life; just by an emotionless gallop of the mind and heart. A time to feel celebrated, a time to feel special, but why does my mind still yearn for a perfect living? Why have i become so hopelessly dependent on someone or something for the sake of my life, for my everyday deeds, for my well being, for my peace of mind? Y do i feel so lonely every morning that even the slightest amount of light or sound disturbs me? I feel intrigued by how i can actually want so much in my little life? It's not like i haven't had infamous incidents in the incomplete and indefinite pages of my life. Every morning i pray to overturn a new leaf. I want to breathe in refreshing, soothing and pure air; an air of happiness, an air of self-dependence, an air of being content. My writings are obviously very small and insignificant to the reading world. But no one can ever understand or imagine the amount of feelings i have accumulated into this little text of my short, yet eventful life.
This atmosphere of pressure, this thick fog of emotion; i cant live or see through any of them. They shield me over, powerfully in a vice grip; a strong with-holding stand, unbeatable by my mind solely. This is where the precious jewels of my life blaze their way, showing off their importance in my time on earth. They are what keep me alive. My inspiration, my aspiration to live. Allowing my heart to beat soundly after all this torture; feel loved and deserving of someone else's love. They are what we call friends and family. They come wherever one sees tragedy, trouble, drama, trauma, pain, discomfort, unpleasant times, unfortunate events. They are the ones capable of sending all these hardships back to the ones from whom it came from. Send them away and strongly stand in the way until you feel nourished enough to stand on your own feet and feel you are ready and you want to risk facing all those terrors again. This life becomes full of surprises and awe because of these gems, priceless necessities. It's because of the presence of these valuables do i get up peacefully every morning; have been getting up peacefully every morning. The confidence that nothing can ever form a barrier before me without going through a fight gives immense happiness and enthusiasm to live every next day like it were in heaven. Carefree and leisurely i trod along, not having to check every corner for signs of trouble.